So you have a teenager. Gone are the days of endless “whys,” chatty car rides, and a general enthusiasm for telling you every little detail of their day. Instead, you’re getting a master class in Monosyllabic Grunt Language (MGL for short). You know the drill: “How was school?” gets a “fine.” “What’d you do today?” might even get a “meh.”
Fear not, fellow parent. While it may seem like your teen is suddenly speaking a language from a far-off planet, there is a way to interpret these cryptic responses. Today, we’re taking a lighthearted journey into the world of teenage talk, where every shrug, eye-roll, and mumble holds a hidden meaning. Here’s your official crash course in Teen Talk 101…that is, if you can get them to take their ear buds out first!
1. “Fine” = “I’m Not Telling You Anything”
When you ask, “How was your day?” and get a “fine,” don’t be fooled—this answer is a catch-all. It could mean their day was genuinely uneventful, or it could mean they had the most amazing (or terrible) day ever, but for whatever reason, they don’t feel like elaborating. “Fine” is Teen Talk shorthand for, “The details of my day are not for your ears.” Respect the “fine,” and they may offer more when they’re ready.
Translation Tip: Try a follow-up question, but keep it specific and low-key. Something like, “Did anything funny happen at school?” or “What did you have for lunch?” Sometimes, zeroing in on a detail gets them talking without feeling like they’re under interrogation.
2. “I Dunno” = “I Don’t Feel Like Thinking Right Now”
Ask a teen, “What do you want for dinner?” and you’re likely to get a classic “I dunno.” This is Teen Talk’s way of saying, “Please don’t make me make any decisions.” Often, teens get overwhelmed (or just really, really tired) from the daily mental gymnastics of school, friends, and whatever else they have going on. When they say “I dunno,” it’s less about ignorance and more about indecision.
Translation Tip: Offer a few choices. “How about spaghetti or tacos?” Choices let them avoid decision-making fatigue while still feeling like they have a say. (And hey, you might actually get an answer beyond “dunno.”)
3. The Shrug = “This Conversation Is Going Nowhere”
Ah, the shrug. It’s the ultimate in teenage minimalism—just a single lift of the shoulders that somehow conveys an entire sentence. A shrug is the universal Teen Talk symbol for “I am out of words” or “I don’t have any thoughts on this.” It’s a little frustrating, but it’s also a cue to pivot.
Translation Tip: Sometimes a shrug is actually a good sign! It means they’re acknowledging your question, even if they don’t know what to say. In these cases, a little humor can go a long way. Try responding to a shrug with, “Alright, strong opinions, I see!” It might just make them laugh or, if you’re lucky, crack a smile.
4. The Eye Roll = “Please Stop, I’m Embarrassed”
The teenage eye-roll is a classic. Used in response to anything that feels “cringe” (read: anything you say or do), it’s one of their most emphatic forms of communication. The eye-roll can be frustrating, but if you’re getting one, it means you’ve at least sparked some kind of reaction. Silver linings, right?
Translation Tip: Don’t take the eye-roll personally—it’s a natural part of their independence. When they roll their eyes, give them a playful comeback, like, “Oh, we’re eye-rolling now? At least you know how cool I am now-I invented the eye roll!” You’ll look unbothered, and who knows? It might just break the tension.
5. The Silent Head Nod = “Yes” (or “Please Go Away”)
When a teen nods, it can mean, “Yes, I agree” or, more likely, “Yes, you may now leave this room.” The silent nod is actually a pretty positive response in Teen Talk—it’s non-confrontational, and hey, at least they’re agreeing with you (kind of). So, cherish the nod!
Translation Tip: Acknowledge the nod and move on. In Teen Talk, less is often more. Something as simple as “Thanks for letting me know” shows you appreciate the response without asking for more than they’re ready to share.
6. The Mumble = “This Is Just How I Talk Now”
Ah, mumbling. It’s as if all the clear articulation of their younger years has been replaced by a kind of vague, indiscernible drone. This is Teen Talk at its finest: a quiet, monotone sound where once were words. But underneath that mumble, they’re still trying to say something.
Translation Tip: If it’s important, ask them to repeat themselves with a smile. Don’t pretend you can hear a mumble that you clearly missed—teens can smell fake understanding from a mile away. A cheerful “Wait, I missed that!” works wonders and shows you actually want to hear what they’re saying.
7. “Meh” = “I Have No Strong Feelings Either Way”
If “meh” was in the dictionary, it would be defined as “indifference personified.” You might hear “meh” in response to anything from weekend plans to a brand-new family pet. When they say “meh,” they’re not trying to be dismissive; they’re just not jazzed. It’s Teen Talk for, “This doesn’t really move me.”
Translation Tip: Respect the “meh.” Sometimes it means they just don’t care that much, and that’s okay. If you press too hard, you may get the dreaded “Ugh.” Keep it light and let the “meh” be a mellow part of your day.
Final Thoughts
Learning Teen Talk isn’t for the faint of heart, but it is worth it. Deciphering their shrugs, grunts, and mumbles means you’re staying tuned in, even when they’re giving you less to work with than you’d like. Besides, every once in a while, you’ll get a real response—an honest answer, a laugh, maybe even a heartfelt “thanks”—that reminds you they still need you, even if they’d never admit it.
So, here’s to all the “meh” moments, “fine” days, and eye-rolls we’ll undoubtedly endure. One day, they’ll grow out of Teen Talk, and we’ll miss it… probably. In the meantime, stay patient, stay curious, and remember: there’s usually a smile somewhere under all that mumbling.
